I swear to drunk I’m not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don’t do vegetables.
Whoever says “money can’t buy Happiness has obviously never paid for a divorce.
Global warming is so funny even the ice sheets are cracking up.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
I am such an expert at sleeping in I can even do it with my eyes closed.